Allowing: Quiet the Critic!

At the core of ‘allowing'' is a willingness to just “be” with yourself. But am I pausing for quiet or enforcing silence? Stillness can be radically charged by our attitude toward staying in the moment. Where in your body and breath do you sense your reaction to pausing right now and “taking a moment”? What about your stamina for staying with the pause? When do you enjoy hovering in this space? When do you feel that itch to move on asap?

As I’m playing with the mindfulness sequence of RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Non-attachment (nourishing) I’m alternately appreciating and resisting A: to allow. Allow follows Recognize.
Frankly, it’s a challenge to stay with what I recognize, to allow for what is to just be for a while. I enjoy doing this for someone else, but for me? Not so much. A little panic tightens my chest and throat. I worry: will I be stuck with my emotions or my tension if I allow them to resonate within me a little longer?

And often this space of allowing is not quiet – it’s filled with noise! Inner voices tell me I shouldn’t be feeling what I am feeling. The voices say that I should know better (be better).These thoughts are stories from another time. I can remember this if I stay with what I’m recognizing, but with more tenderness. Allowing myself to be with my discomfort brings me into more compassion, for self and for other people. I can notice that other people are with me - people who aren’t interested in the stories of my imperfections because these stories keep us apart.

One of my first experiences of receiving guided touch from an Alexander Technique teacher was a revelation of allowing. I was resting on a bodywork table. She lifted my leg with such care and knowledge that I stopped trying to be a “good student”. Instead of moving my leg myself, I experienced my leg. I was amazed at the feelings of flowing energy and the feelings of thick resistance! It was as if she gave me an extension of time to recognize myself, time to acknowledge the interference of my habitual patterns, but no time to get lost in self-criticism – she did not treat me as though I was “wrong”. I was given a gift of time to wonder and to gain more curiosity, not to shut down or avoid.

I invite you to allow: to pause and appreciate. To stop the “stories” of pretending or blaming or wishing to be something else. Appreciation is knowledge and respect.
Perfectionism: your days are numbered.

Photo by alexey turenkov on Unsplash, Photo by Ali Abdul Rahman on Unsplash

Belinda Mello is a member of the Alexander Technique Liberation Project and ATI, International
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